Oh man, Mondays are rough. The kids are tired, I'm tired, we are in the home stretch and I think the kids are done with school. I feel like there is SO much more to go, but some days, I'm also quite exhausted and just want the year to end as well. The weather is beautifully, thankfully, and I am truly grateful for nice weather. My mood shifts with the weather, which makes me think I have a bit of seasonal affective disorder. My friend Chris is always saying that his partner is much more "alive" and less depressed when the weather is nice and the sun is out.
Today, I am just plain out of it. I slept well, but somedays are better than others. I missed Billy a lot last night and yesterday. Sundays were our days. We spent them shopping and doing chores, which doesn't sound interesting, but chores with the one you love is actually kind of fun. Now I do everything alone and it's very depressing. Some days I just do not go to the supermarket and I try to subsist on whatever is left in my pantry. Also, we used to watch a Sunday night movie. I have not seen a whole movie since he died. I watch Law and Order and other shows about degenerates and killers. What have I become?
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I love Law and Order SVU....addicted actually.
ReplyDeleteLoss....know it too well....I also know that the sun comes up every day. And yes, there is always a new day and new possiblities. You are pressing on, as hard as it is, but you are. Take each day one day at a time. Eventually, it will be two weeks at a time, etc.
You are gifted. Let your gifts flow. Treat yourself well....know you are loved.