Summer

Summer for teachers is a necessary evil for me. I am not good with unstructured time and I feel very burned out. The unstructred time leaves me with too much time to think about my losses. I got great correspondance and praise from students over the year, so for that I am thankful; but now, I am left to my own devices. I am alone thinking of summers that I used to spend with Billy and now I am alone in my apartment thinking of times I used to spend with Billy. A little repetitive yes, healing, no. Today was a "school day" developing curriculum and using my time to create a new plan. My brain was not working today and my curriculum partner and I were hashing out old plans and seeing what worked and what didn't. It went well, but again, my brain is just not working. I'm alone on this wierd island (sorry for the awful cliche) but alone nonetheless. I feel awkard in a crowd, so of course, I am awkward in a workshop. It feels like I am on the outside of a glass restaurant looking in at all the people eating and enjoying their company and their meals. This summer should be a time for growth. We'll see how it goes.